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Dear Dolly,
What should I do if I order food from Grubhub at my motel, in the middle of a not-forecast-pouring rainstorm, which has flooded the roads in the whole county of Westchester, New York, and I go to a really sleezy motel, with kids shooting up at the edge of the hallway, and the food doesn’t come? Should I just relax? Or should I flip out?
Dear Grubhub,
You should absolutely flip out after you have relaxed a bit. Then you should relax again after you flip out. That way you get the best of both worlds. Plus, haven’t you always wanted to lose weight? The only way to lose weight is to eat less. Grubhub was trying to help you.
Has no one told you that Covid is a rehearsal for the climate crisis, that the rains are coming, bringing floods, even in Westchester, and that you should never leave home without a paper bag lunch? I recommend peanut butter and jelly. Small amounts of each.
Dolly
Dear Dolly,
Do you think the wheels are coming off the bus of democracy or do you think anti-vaxers are just protecting fundamental rights of personal choice and pro-vaxers are catastrophizing and should just stop guilt tripping others for their fears of a simple flu?
Dear vexed about vaxes,
For many people the wheels were never on the bus for democracy, so I want you to start there, while worrying about democracy and your personal health and whether democracy is capable of protecting it.
Then, when you are done feeling guilty about being such a first-worlder, and being grateful that you weren’t born in Afghanistan, or in Mississippi when the KKK ruled, please imagine a less binary approach to the vaccination question. Take on the mask question first. Then the vaccination. Do one thing at a time. Use concentric circles of strategy to move in on the question of how to win friends and influence people.
If your goal today was to convince one person to wear a mask, how you would proceed? My friend at a local Presbyterian church, who works in their thrift store, told her neighbors that she would no longer bring them dinners when they were sick or take them by car to the doctors if they got Covid. If, of course, they got a vaccination and still got Covid, she would continue her care for them.
She used a stick that had a carrot attached to it. She said, if you get sick from Covid because you refused to vax, I will not help you. You will be on your own. You have no one else but me. If you get sick after having tried to do your best to be well, I will help you. You have personal choices. Please make the right one.
She never even mentioned how she felt about living next door to people who refused to vax. Nor did she bother with the theoretical question about the wheels on the bus.
Dolly
Who is the Dolly Mama?
The Dolly Mama is a spiritual version of Dear Abby. Her intention is to combine the irreverence of Dolly Parton with the surrender and non-attachment beloved by Buddhists. She wants to let go of what can’t be fixed – in either self or others – and fix what can by applying the balm of humor.
She is a spiritual handyperson, a soul mechanic, a repairer of broken appliances. Every now and then the combination of letting go and hanging on achieves sufficient balance for an improvement in spiritual posture, stronger spine, and personal peace. The Dolly Mama is not her day job. By day, she works as an ordained United Church of Christ and American Baptist pastor of a regular, if edgy, congregation.