Got a problem? The Dolly Mama is here for you. You can find her by writing us here.
Dear Dolly,
I used to travel on a tab. Now I don’t travel at all. If I want to buy a sandwich, I have to pay for it myself. If I want to travel, I have to pay mileage and parking myself. I am embarrassed to say that I don’t like travel that I have to pay for. Do you think there is something wrong with me or with the system that gave me so much expenses for which to account?
Dear tabless tabfree or shall I just call you Tab?
“These are the times that try men’s souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman.” So wrote Thomas Paine in The American Crisis that appeared in Philadelphia on December 19, 1776. Washington’s troops were on their way to losing the revolution. They were exhausted. They could barely walk. Paine offered an interesting if unlikely encouragement.
“Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered, yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives everything its value.”
Did you really enjoy all those “free” sandwiches? What about the mileage? Did you buy yourself a new car? Why don’t you go on a long and expensive trip and have a great time? See what happens to your inner spirit. It might even win a revolution.
Dolly
Dear Dolly,
I think I should love the poor more than I do. I take my old clothes to the shelters. I donate the cranberry sauce that has lived on the shelf past its expiration date. Every now and then, I throw an extra quarter in the tip jar at the 7-11 when I buy my inexpensive coffee and wonder how to afford even it. I am not poor, but I’m not rich either. The gas prices have decreased my morning coffees to every other day instead of every day. Have I become a scrooge? I definitely care about my coffee more than I do about other people who don’t even have milk.
I guess I am writing because I saw a woman come in to the 7 – 11 looking like she was going to buy coffee but instead just poured some milk and sugar in a cup and walked out. I think the clerk noticed. I think he didn’t care. Or did he care in the right way?
Dear Milk and Sugar Scrooge,
Charles Dickens created a character whose name has gone down in history. Ebenezer Scrooge has just become Scrooge. No one even names their cats after him. He’s gone from a name to a nickname, from a human to a brand. Some even use him as a verb: don’t scrooge on me.
He said terrible things about poor people. He blamed them for their poverty. He was so rich that he wouldn’t have missed a morning mug of anything. He could have had two and given you one and your milk and sugar friend one and not missed much of anything.
After hearing that some poor people would rather die than go to prisons or workhouses, all he could say was: "If they would rather die, they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population." By the end of the book called The Christmas Carol, he has taken on the care of a crippled child. "I am as light as a feather, I am as happy as an angel, I am as merry as a school-boy. I am as giddy as a drunken man. A merry Christmas to everybody!" What changed Scrooge? How did a miserable jerk become a happy jerk?
When you find out, let me know. You’ll probably never be able to afford more than a cup every other day and a full tank a week – but then again you don’t have to be snarky and miserly and scroogy about it. You could find somebody crippled by poverty and offer them a warm drink. It could soothe, even save your sorry soul. When it comes to surpluses, everybody has enough fear and anxiety. Very few have enough joy.
Dolly
Who is the Dolly Mama?
The Dolly Mama is a spiritual version of Dear Abby. Her intention is to combine the irreverence of Dolly Parton with the surrender and non-attachment beloved by Buddhists. She wants to let go of what can’t be fixed – in either self or others – and fix what can by applying the balm of humor.
She is a spiritual handyperson, a soul mechanic, a repairer of broken appliances. Every now and then the combination of letting go and hanging on achieves sufficient balance for an improvement in spiritual posture, stronger spine, and personal peace. The Dolly Mama is not her day job. By day, she works as an ordained United Church of Christ and American Baptist pastor of a regular, if edgy, congregation.