DON'T GET USED TO IT - Gareth Higgins

Many of us have grown used to a sense of fear and exhaustion, overburdened responsibility and uncertainty, a sense that nobody is in charge and that the challenges we face are - quite simply - too overwhelming to overcome. Familiarity with these stories repeats itself - the more we unconsciously tell stories about the downside of life, the more the downside of life will seem like the whole of it. Light will be reduced to the rarest surprise, drudgery will be the default, the grotesque consecrated as the norm.

The alternative is not to ignore stories of real pain and fear, but to discern the size of those stories and our place in them; the gifts of discernment, courage, creativity, and community we can bring to help things get better; the needs we have that can only be met by the care of others. 

This is true in times of crisis, but it must also be practiced the rest of the time.

Because either the story of despair is true, in which case I don’t know what I’d rather do than lead with love, courage, creativity, and community…

Or 

The story of despair isn’t true, in which case we will need a lot more love, courage, creativity and community than doom-saying…

Or 

There’s some truth to both stories, in which case there is no path to enabling a wise discernment of how to live that doesn’t prioritize love, courage, creativity and community. 

It’s the gift and calling of The Porch to facilitate the kind of conversation that strengthens the possibility each of us have to be transformative storytellers - to embody the story of our own lives, doubts and loves, in a way that moves us and those who hear the stories toward that very same love, courage, creativity, and community.

We seek to do this in our everyday lives, in the essays we publish, and when we gather in person. In the next few months we have three events, and the heart of each may very well be what you need.


The Porch Gathering, North Carolina

As you all know by now, the Porch Gathering takes place March 7th-10th, near Asheville, NC. It starts with dinner on Thursday night, ends late night Saturday - or Sunday morning if you're staying over. Over a hundred people are already registered to attend this weekend of transformative storytelling. This is our main annual event full of courageous, wise and creative people with experience in peace building, artistic endeavor, and the nurturing of spiritual activist communities. More than a hundred people have already registered to attend - and while we’re not intent on becoming a large event, there’s still room for more. Everything you need to know about joining us is at www.theporchgathering.com

(And I’m happy to say that we’re working on plans to share the Porch Gathering online for those who can’t join us in person. Watch this space.)

Ring Lake Ranch, Wyoming

In late May, I’ll be leading a workshop with my friend the singer-songwriter and teacher David LaMotte, at Ring Lake Ranch in Wyoming; one of the quietest and most dramatic places I’ve ever visited. Our workshop is about the power of transformative storytelling; the landscape at the ranch - mountains, lakes, trails (and the company - beautiful people and horses alike) will be the perfect setting. Details here: www.ringlake.org/programs/


Ireland Retreats

Our Ireland Retreats this summer feature, as always, transformative storytelling in the context of the physical and cultural landscape of the north of Ireland; learning about the poetics of conflict transformation; discovering new community around lovely meals in a beautiful place. Brian Ammons and I host these retreats, and people consistently tell us that their lives changed for the better. 

This summer we’re delighted to welcome back our dear friends Over the Rhine, singer-songwriters Linford Detweiler and Karin Bergquist (June 19th-27th); and for the first time the brilliant Ari Weinzweig (June 7th-14th). Ari is the iconic leader of one of the most creative and inspirational communities I’ve experienced - Ari describes himself as a lapsed anarchist, he’s dedicated to a revolution in dignity, and I deeply want to share his wisdom, grace, and life-giving support with The Porch community. There are only a few spaces left on the retreat with Over the Rhine, and we’re just announcing the retreat with Ari today, but we imagine places will go fast, so if you're interested please take a look at the details at www.irelandretreats.com - it’s less than five months away so it’s a good time to apply to join us. 

Whether or not you can come to any of our offerings, I want you to know this: there are reasons to claim hope and step into active embodiment of what we want for the world, for the people around us, and for those we will never meet. Love is not a victory march. It is the place where vulnerability and courage meet. It will not help us avoid necessary and inevitable suffering; though it can help us enlarge the story we’re telling about them. I don’t care as much about The Porch attracting attention or getting folks to attend events as about the story we’re learning and sharing, which includes this: that you matter, deeply and beyond what you’ve been told; that you have a place in this world as a gift to the rest of us, and each of us has a place as a gift to you. Life is really hard sometimes. Scary too. But sometimes what makes it worth living is the story we tell about it. The current confusion, fear, and despair reveal an opportunity - a responsibility, even - to learn and share a better story. Let’s help each other do that.

PS: Some words from previous Porch Gathering participants: 

The Porch Gathering gives me hope that I am not alone…A meaningful and unforgettable experience…The weekend was an experience that I have a hard time explaining to others. You just have to be there. I've already promised likeminded friends that I will let them know when the next event is scheduled. Can't wait to go back. I felt at home the minute we gathered…The examples of transformative storytelling modeled brilliantly from sensitive, intelligent, talented, and compassionate teachers leaves me hungry and ready for more! A rare welcoming, inclusive gathering I can't wait to attend again. Details at www.theporchgathering.com